Last week the office forwarded the following message to me, a perfectly friendly email. Yet, as I read it, an ancient performance terror reared its scary head. To be honest, it made my blood run cold.
I’m a producer for PBS NewsHour and wanted to check-in about featuring Trudy Goodman in our latest series of profiles….We reach a smart, influential audience of 1.5 million viewers each night (including The President!) We would love to speak with Trudy about her mindfulness practice…”
With a deep breath, kind of a sigh, I agree to do this. (Take one for the team, Trudy, walk your talk).
Cut to InsightLA yesterday afternoon. I’m standing in our empty meditation room staring into the ominous, glassy black hole of a video camera trying to relax. We know that stress disables much of our frontal cortex; I’m trying to remember something – anything – I used to know about mindfulness practice.
I hopefully ask the producer, Steve Goldbloom, if this clip is more for Facebook, maybe? And how many people go on FB to watch the “Brief, but Spectacular” clips? “Oh, around 500,000,” he answers. Seeing my face, he kindly adds, “No, really only my family members watch…”.
Even with Steve’s knowledgeable and funny support, the old fear is strong. Luckily, so is mindfulness and metta (lovingkindness). Both help me communicate with a little bit of calmness and caring. Steadied by loving awareness, I imagine the folks beyond the deep black opening of the camera lens learning about mindfulness.
I can even recall my words from last week’s note to you, dear Reader: mindfulness is a lens, a light-gathering device helping us find our way. Even when we’re lost in our emotions, the Way is still here, always possible, and clear.
Image Credit: T. Goodman