In the spirit of welcome, two of our wonderful team members at InsightLA, Mark and Sarah, chose our recent motto: “You Can Sit With Us”. It’s a reference to a scene in the movie “Mean Girls”. A popular girl who is sitting with her clique at lunch shrieks at a new girl (wearing sweatpants) who tries to join them, “You can’t sit with us!”. We are saying exactly the opposite: whoever you are, whatever kind of ‘clothes’ you wear (color, gender, age, class, abilities…), you can sit with us.
We’re following in the footsteps of the Buddha, who welcomed people from all walks of life into his Sangha. He lifted the lamp of Dharma and said, “Ehipassiko”. That’s Pali for “Come and see.” This is how he invited all suffering beings to walk through the Dharma door of liberty, insight and compassion — just like the poet Emma Lazarus’s sonnet, immortalized at the Statue of Liberty:
“…Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, … and her name
Mother of Exiles…
Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses,
yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your
teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost
to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
At InsightLA, we’re working to make InsightLA a more inclusive space for everyone. However, we will inevitably make mistakes, for we aren’t separate from our society where prejudice and bias are institutionalized and widespread in ways that are mostly invisible to white people. In fact, this week it appears that some in our government intend to strengthen white privilege and exclude more people – “You can’t join us!” – rather than affirm the value and benefit of racial and gender equality, equity, refuge, and economic parity for our nation.
When I wrote about ‘white awareness’ three weeks ago, a friend felt excluded. Even though we don’t intend to offend, when the impact of what we say causes distress, our intention isn’t what matters. Attending to the impact matters most.
In all of our relationships, our efforts to grow in awareness and empathic response sometimes include missteps. We will always have a lot to forgive, in ourselves and in each other! This is how it is in our human world. Come and see.